Hide and Seek
by Consequential Farewell
Summary: I suppose he'd always been rather overprotective. And obsessive. But so had I, really. I just never realized that his feelings ran that deep...and that possessive. EdxEnvy AU
1. Chapter 1

I spose this is my first story ((shrugs)) hopefully people will like this and give me pointers as to improve my writing too. Flames are more than welcome as long as you don't write crap like "OMFGZ UR STORI SUXXORZ BABI JEBUS POO!!! Ox" and tell me **WHY** you don't like it, be it my style of writing, the topic, ect.

Pairings: EdxEnvy is the main, implied TrishaxHohenhiem, implied DantexHohenhiem, and at the moment I don't have any others lined up. If you've got one you want to see, be it yaoi, yuri or het, just ask and I'm sure I can include it in somewhere.

Warnings: This story will contain violence, abuse, sexual assault, incest, sexual scenes, more or less likely a lemon at some stage, alcohol, and probably drugs at some point.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or any of the affiliated characters.

…

_Hide and seek,_

_Trains and sowing machines (you won't catch me around here)_

_Blood and tears,_

_They were here first_

_Hide and Seek- Imogen Heap._

_**369369369**_

_**I **__suppose he'd always been a little bit overprotective._

_We never really had a healthy environment growing up. Apparently dad left after Envy was born, and only showed up two years later to get mom pregnant with me. He actually hung around for a while after that, and not long after our younger brother Alphonse was born, he finally split for what we both eventually began to hope was the final time._

_For different reasons though; Envy remembered him enough to, by the age of seven, start calling him a bastard, and I eventually noticed how sad mom got whenever he was mentioned. After a while my curiosity got the best of me, and one night, after mom put us to bed, I crawled across the room to Envy's bed and slipped under the covers._

"_How come mommy's so sad all the time?" I whispered as Envy pulled me over and cuddled me, as he was prone to do whenever I came to sleep in his bed. This was quite often, as storms were frequent in Resembool, and I was absolutely terrified of them._

"_It's because daddy abandoned us." He answered calmly, always rather calm (if not bemused and sarcastically hyper) even at that age._

"_Abandoned us?"_

"_Yes. It means he's never coming back. He doesn't want us…me especially." He added quietly, with venom I hadn't noticed at my age, and that he shouldn't have felt at his own._

_Either way, that night was the night I decided I disliked my father, and was glad he'd gone. Not only because he'd been horrible enough to abandon my mother, but because deep down, I figured he must have done something to earn Envy's hatred._

_I was seven when mom started collapsing in on herself. Of course Envy had already told me she had an "illness" that I was supposed to avoid at all costs. He said when she smelled funny, when she talked funny, when her eyes looked funny, when she couldn't walk right, or I could see a bottle in her hand, I was to ignore everything she said and go hide under my bed. _

_When I was eight, and her "illness began to become more and more frequent, he even bought me a mobile phone with which to contact him as soon as she started acting funny, with money he'd most likely stolen from her wallet or pick pocketed off the street._

_So whenever mom got drunk, I would hide under my bed with a squirming Alphonse and call him, and no matter where he was, he'd be home in exactly ten minutes, banging the door open and shouting at the top of his lungs that he was home as if to console me. He would yell at mom, who would scream hysterically back, before walking up the stairs to our bedroom and sweet talking me out from under the bed, allowing me to fuss over any bruises or scratches mom had given him before hugging me and telling to me about the random things he'd been up to during the day, things he'd seen, stories he'd been told, anything he could to keep my attention._

_He hated it when I showed even the slightest bit of attention to Alphonse._

_Edward Elric, 14__th__ October, 2005_

**369369369**

"**B**rother, you're going to be late for school!" Alphonse called out cheerily, and I sighed at the thought of yet another day at that place. The change in education from Resembool (A small classroom with five or six other kids) to Central (you'd be lucky if your year was under a hundred) was nerve-wracking. I loved the amount of work I had to do, the things I got to learn that never would've been mentioned had we been forced to stay in Resembool, but I hated the people. There was something about shoving 900 multicultural differently labeled kids into one small campus that just seemed rather inhumane to me…

It didn't help with the way I'd been classed. "Punk", "goth", "emo", "weirdo", "gay", "slut"; it didn't matter to them what such labels did to my self-esteem, how being classed without thought and then dropped out of their thoughts could affect me. People were disgusting with the way they had to classify someone before they could feel comfortable. If you couldn't classify something into a particular category with its own perverse stereotypes, then you became frightened. I wasn't exempt from this, that didn't mean that it sickened me any less.

Take now, for example. I walk down the stairs, into the kitchen. There's Alphonse, standing at the stove, apron on so his neat, common and non-label looking clothes won't get dirty. Hair neatly brushed, but ruffled looking. A smile on his face that, in my eyes, was so obviously forced it wasn't funny. Poser. That's what Alphonse was. Trying to replace two people and never succeeding with becoming either.

This morning it seemed, he was trying to be mom. To be honest, I liked him trying to be mom the most; it was the less upsetting of the two.

"Good morning brother." He said cheerfully as I slouched over to the fridge, grabbing the orange juice and slamming it onto the counter.

"What's so good about it?" I muttered darkly, giving him a sullen glance from under my lashes when he dared look over at me. There was a strained silence for a moment, which was odd, because Al never let my dark moods get to him. For a moment, I thought about starting up more conversation by asking what was wrong-

"Brother, it's almost winter… don't think you should wear something warmer than that?"

Ah.

I looked down at myself lazily, eyeing the tight leather skinny legs, and my favorite black shirt. It had a neck warmer that fit comfortably midway on my neck, but no sleeves, and it cut off before my ribs did. Alphonse had always hated the shirt, and whenever he bought one remotely like it, it would end up inconspicuously shredded after being chucked through the wash. I didn't particularly care about Alphonse's feelings over this matter; this was the one thing I would and could allow myself to explode at him for.

"I was planning on wearing my leather jacket too." I said, sculling a glass of orange juice as Al frowned and glared a hole through the frying pan he was tending. He served up the bacon and grabbed a bowl of boiled eggs he'd obviously prepared earlier, and set them on the table.

"Brother…" He began in a faux innocent voice as I started shoveling bacon into my mouth. "This obsession you have with those clothes…I mean, they're so old now, you've had a lot of them for five years after all. Isn't about time you started thinking about throwing some of them out?"

I chocked on my bacon and stopped chewing, letting a long silence gain hold of the kitchen. Slowly, I swallowed what was left in my mouth, and stood.

"Thanks for the food Al; it was really nice." I smiled hollowly before turning and escaping into my bedroom.

I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. He hadn't said anything particularly wrong. Yet we both knew he'd just said enough to make me want to condemn him to hell. Stupid little _**FUCK!!!!**_

I kicked my desk chair into a wall, where it showed its passage with a loud BANG and a large dent, complete with cracks and crumbling pieces of ply board. Huffing, I glared at that dent in the wall as if it was the cause of all my problems, all the stupid games I had to play with a manipulative little brother who was too stupid at what he was doing to learn what he should and shouldn't imply.

…School. Fuck.

Sighing, I run a hand through my hair and decided stubbornly to leave it down today. Alphonse would disapprove, but the likelihood of him saying something was minute. Me actually snapping and leaving him here to walk fifteen miles to school was too chancy right now.

Crawling under my bed, I closed my eyes for nostalgia's sake… before sighing and dragging the long wooden chest I kept under there out into the open. Slipping a cord over my head, I inserted the key that was dangling from it into the lock and turned.

There was a click, and I pulled the chest open to reveal an assortment of black clothes. Pants, skorts, arm warmers, jackets, shirts, collars, wrist bands, and some odd assortments of jewellery and toys that I'd collected and kept safe from my brother and that bitch Dante. My nose wrinkled at the thought; that was the one time he and Dante had been on the same side; when they'd been getting rid of everything, and I'd been saving as much as I could.

It hurt to think that out of an entire room and what little had been spread throughout the house, this and a boxful of posters and ornaments were all I'd managed to salvage. Still, when it really came down to it, it was me five, Dante and Al two.

Too bad those five couldn't measure up to even one of those two.

"Al!" I shouted, slamming the lid down and shoving it back under the bed. "Let's go!"

…

**369369369**

The ride to school was quiet. We stopped once to get food for the day (the food the school offered usually tasted and looked like it had been made of cardboard and glue) then again to drop all off at his building before detouring around the school for twenty minutes to get to the designated parking area. Despite the fact that I was only seventeen, I had my full license. We had needed it and Dante had had the money to get it for us, at least for Al's sake.

If it had just been for me I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to get my training permit till I was 35.

I locked the thing before turning round and trudging towards the entrance, knowing that I was about fifteen minutes late, but not particularly caring. Before I could enter into the grey-blue hallways, however, I noticed a feeling that I definitely didn't like. The feeling of being watched. A feeling I'd felt constantly since I'd stepped out of my car.

Pissed for reasons I couldn't explain, I turned my head to the side, finding myself overlooking a group of what looked like gothic bikers. They were all wearing black, and more than a few had more piercings than skin upon their faces. A flash of something green made me narrow my eyes towards one particular person. This one pissed me off the most; he apparently had the audacity to dye his hair a dramatically dark shade of green.

He was also the one who was staring at me; though I couldn't see his eyes, he was the only one with his face turned in my direction. I glared hatefully and flipped him off before hurrying inside. The way things were going today, I could swear there was some evil God out to get me. Or maybe it was karma.

Trudging through the corridors to my locker, I hummed a nameless tune to myself and hooked my thumbs into my almost non-existent pockets. I had to admit to a certain love of leather and black that one I'd met seemed to share. Though my leather wardrobe was restricted for the fact that whenever I got something new it turned out missing the next day, my entire wardrobe was dominated with black. Other than a few red and gold t-shirts, no other colored was allowed to live on my person. The colors green and purple; they didn't even exist in our house. Whether that be a combination of both Alphonse and my own efforts, neither of us liked looking at the colors longer than required. Allowing them to inhabit our home just seemed like too much.

Stepping up to my locker I tapped it lightly before twisting in the combination and pulling the door back, stepping aside as a torrent of condoms fell out of my locker. Probably the attempted joke of a homophobic/racist jock that unfortunately wasn't here to watch his master plan unfold.

Too bad, it would've been fun to strangle him with a rope of condoms.

Sighing, I scooped up as many of the little packets as I could, and kicked the locker next to mine at the hinges. It popped open quietly, not a dent left to show it had been violated in some way. The locker belonged to some random popular girl called Lyra…or something. She'd probably at least been informed about the "awesome joke" and after she found it was on her, a lot of lovely nasty rumors would be spread about said jock and I'd have my revenge without lifting a finger.

I fiddled around, making sure every last condom was stuffed into her locker before slamming the door shut and turning to my own, taking out a book and pen before shutting my own much more gently.

…

**369369369**

"So, mister Elric" I was asked dryly as I stepped into my first period classroom. "Other than the first day of term, are there any other days that will see you in my classroom on time?" His name was Mustang. Roy Mustang. With dark hair and eye, an eye patch covering the hole where his other eye should be, black jacket always hung over his shoulders (like hell he should bother putting his arms into the bloody things) and usually a simplistic white shirt with black pants underneath, he was a good looking guy. And tall, too.

I probably would've liked him more if he didn't have the emotional range of a teaspoon and the personality of an ass.

"I don't know, Pony Sir," I said mock politely, well aware that every eye in the room was on me. "I'll have to have a look and see if I can fit it into my busy schedule." Mustang stared at me, and I fought the urge to scowl at the fact that, yet again, someone felt the need to stare at me today.

"…Be sure you do." He said at last. "But for today, see me at lunchtime, to hand in your homework. This week's project is already on your desk." I nodded and walked to my seat in the corner of the back row. Usually I wouldn't be so cliché as to sit in such a place, but Mustang had given me an ultimatum. Stay as far away from him as possible during class, and he wouldn't draw attention to the fact that I never concentrated, and yet got perfect scores on all my tests. He knew how badly that would hurt my reputation, if it could be tarnished much more than it already was. To be whoring oneself out for marks from the teacher was the lowest of low, and hell if Mustang would get in trouble for it.

…I still would've sat down the front just to spite him, but then there was the window right beside my desk. That was worth being manipulated by the Pony bastard.

Flipping open the door I'd brought to class, I propped it up on my desk before pulling another, smaller book out of the large pocket I'd sown onto the inside of the jacket myself. Flipping it open to the next blank page, I began writing again.

_**W**__hen I was nine, I broke my arm._

_I remember that day distinctly, because it had been the first one in months that I wasn't spending with Envy. I can recall feeling a deep pit of bitter disappointment the whole time, whilst Alphonse (who'd turned eight in the past few days) enjoyed the recluse of spending time with his favorite older brother, or at least, the older brother who actually seemed to recognize his existence with something other than disdain. I was glad at the time for making him happy, but I would rather have been off with Envy, whose apparent hatred of Al had grown to the point that he refused to play with me if I was including him._

_In a way, I probably should've gone with Envy. He would've told me how dangerous my brilliant idea to climb the apple tree in the orchard to get a few of the spotted sour was. Then he'd say "It's okay Edo; if you want some let me do it." and proceeded to do just that, with as much hilarity as he could offer to me at the same time._

_But instead, I ended up climbing the apple tree. I'd collected around five when I went too far, and I branch snapped when I pushed on it with my hand. I fell to the ground, and as inexperienced with pain as I had been, I screamed as soon as I heard the crack and felt the blinding pain that had come with it at the time._

"_Brother!" The younger Alphonse had exclaimed worriedly, dropping the apple and racing over to where I lay._

_He would have made it too, had Envy's fist not met his face first._

"_Are you stupid?!" Envy had screamed over my wailing and Al's loud whine's of pain. "What the fuck did you think you were doing, letting him go up there!? Are you that incompetent that I can't even let him play with you without being worried for his safety!?"_

_He kicked Al roughly in the ribs before stalking over and picking me up bridle style, soothing me with his voice and closeness as he left our younger brother alone and injured, a few miles from home._

_He had sat me on his bed, gently worked at fixing my arm as best as he could, before allowing mom or the doctor she'd called for to come within touching distance of me. Even as the doctor set my arm and splinted it, wrapping in a tight bandage that would "be good enough until tomorrow", when I would go to his practice to get it plastered, Envy was sitting behind me with his arms wrapped around me as tightly as he could without cutting off my breathing. He never took his eyes off the back of my head, until the doctor left and he cuddled me to sleep, and even then his eyes were just examining the make-shift cast on my arm with suppressed fury. _

_He continued to watch me as I slept, napping the next day with me beside him, and throughout the next six weeks he never stopped watching me, even when he was torturing Alphonse with sneaky pinches that would bruise, or tripping him over with a foot that hadn't been in front of him a second before._

_Constantly, comfortingly, he stared, non-stop, whenever he could._

…

_**369369369**_

I was considering continuing this…but I decided I didn't want the chapter to be this long. Would you like it longer, shorter? Tell me in a review so that I can try to make the story as comfortable to my readers as possible.

Okay, yes, **I know Alphonse is being abused badly.** His character is supposed to be the innocent one that everybody loves, and he and Edward are supposed to have a good relationship. To be honest, it's all part of the storyline. Alphonse might not deserve what he's getting, because he was manipulated into doing what he did, but at the same time, if you were Edward, you would probably feel like he was trying to replace the people he loved most too.

I hope everybody likes the diary thing. I like doing it, and it's an important part of getting Edwards side of the story. Key word: **Edward's side of the story. **Everyone will have seen these things differently, and whilst you might not see a lot of other people's perspectives on certain parts, it's important to realize that Edward doesn't have a third person view on what happened. Everything that did is personal. So it's written in a personal way.

…Other than that, I would love reviews…and also a beta, if anyone would like to do that for me. I would be most grateful if someone would.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm adding a new warning to this fic: Suicide/character death.**

Well, I'm just making my weekly deadline with this story…I'll probably just make it or be a few days off every time, the last chapter and this one were both written in one day because if I don't do my homework I'll get pulled out of school, and I have to work too xP

…Dude, last chapter I called a book a door…… … ..Anyway, some really good questions were asked as to what was going on in the story, so I figured I'd be nice and answer them for my lovely reviewers:

**The Faerie of Darkness** (Just before I reply, thanks so much. Your review was my favourite and that song you recommended was awesome. Cookies to you!)

**Envy's devotion to Ed... though why Ed and not Al? Or is that more plot?** That, my dear, I suppose is an unexplained in the story kinda thing. Maybe something happened when Ed was born that made him pity his younger brother? Or maybe he's just insane…it's your choice, really, unless I decide to fill that hole in later chapters x3 I probably will, now that someone's mentioned it.

**Mustang is Ron! That's what I thought when you said "the emotional range of a teaspoon and the personality of an ." Poor Pony. You don't like him much, do you?** Yes, that's where I got the quote from! Hermione said it in the fourth book! No, no I don't. I hate Mustang with a FIERY PASSION OF ONE OBSESSED WITH HIS DEMISE. XP To be completely honest I have no problem with his character; I just think he's stupid. Each to their own though.

**Lost cause331 **

**Are the clothes Envy's? Why is Envy gone now? Was he kicked out?** Yes, those are Envy's clothes/things. He's gone entirely for the plot; he wasn't kicked out per say, but I will say it has something to do with why Ed hates Dante and is trying to hate Al so much. You'll read about it this chapter anyway.

In any case, I've blabbered on long enough. Thanks to all for the reviews, alerts and favs; enjoy the chapter!

_… How cruel, is the golden rule? _

_When the lives we lived were only golden plated._

_Golden- Fall Out Boy_

**369369369**

_It was when mom was diagnosed with Liver disease that things went totally downhill for us. She was a good mother in her own way; she'd never intentionally hurt us, at least. It was only when alcohol filled her veins that she revealed her blame towards her children when it came to her husbands disappearance from her life. _

_One day, shortly before my birthday, mother suddenly collapsed out of nowhere. _

_Envy wasn't shocked, and bundled me and a hysterical Alphonse into our bedroom, telling me in a voice I knew not to disobey that if I left this room he would tie me to my bed for a week. Then he left the house, and all was silent, other than Alphonse's occasional sobs and my own quickened breathing. _

_We'd left mother on the kitchen floor; those cold tiles couldn't be doing her any good. I remember thinking seriously about whether I should disobey Envy and go to help her, regardless of whatever punish he'd meet out to me. _

_Turned out I didn't need to; Envy was back five minutes later, Pinako (the grandmother of a friend of Al's) in tow to help get mother into her bed and let me and my older brother rush off towards town and fetch a doctor. Or, to be more accurate, give my brother the freedom to drag me off to some random location without having to worry about Alphonse or mother. _

_He'd quickly pulled me off the road and into one of the many fields of sugar cane that were grown around this area, quickly coming to a small clearing with a large tree growing in the middle. _

_"Aren't we sposed to get the doctor?" I asked, not at all concerned because, as I had learned over the years, Envy was usually right in everything he did. _

_"It doesn't matter if we take another hour or six to get him; he can't do anything anyway." He had answered with an unconcerned shrug, hefting me into the tree and clambering up afterwards. "Edo, mom's going to die." _

_I didn't answer this for a moment, thinking over the few experiences I'd had with death. _

_"We aren't going to flush her down the toilet are we?" I asked warily, recalling the catastrophe that had been our pet fish. Envy's (He'd named it Fang) had eaten Spot (Al's fish) and had died fat, whilst Sparky (my own lovely little playfish) had died from heartbreak, or overeating considering how much Envy fed it. All three had been held a short funeral before being washed down our porcelain bowl. _

_"No!" My older brother laughed hysterically, shaking his green hair and staring at me bemusedly. "Don't be stupid; she's too big to fit down the toilet. No," He continued before I could ask what would happen. "They'll dig a big hole in the ground and shove her in there. Then they'll fill it with dirt. And they'll put a big rock with "Envy and Edo's mom" on it so everyone knows who's down there!" He said dramatically, waving his arms and almost falling off the branch for his efforts. _

_"Then we can visit her and bring her food and stuff?" I asked enthusiastically, happy because Envy seemed to be happy. Envy stopped waving his arms and frowned. _

_"Well, not really. She won't need food, and she won't be able to talk to us" I must have looked upset, because he added hastily. "But just think! She won't be able to tell us when to go to bed, or for you to drink milk…" I beamed at that. "Though I'll make you drink it anyway." _

_"Envyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!" He laughed then, violet eyes crinkled with mischievous joy, white teeth glinting in the sun, and even though at the time I didn't realize the significance of the moment then, I would remember that laugh, and the way he looked when it happened, for the rest of my life._

**369369369**

I walked into the cafeteria during the middle of lunch with a black cloud hanging over my head. Walking over to my usual table, I slammed my books and food on top of it before flopping down next to three very startled young women.

"What, Mustang kept you in again?" Pan (more formally known as Paninya) asked, staring at me with her large doe eyes. I nodded and huffed as she petted my hair sympathetically, Rose smiling encouragingly at me beside her.

"Well you never show up to his classes on time, and you really do need to get your homework off him, even if you don't need to learn, per say…"

"Learning has nothing to do with it! That asshole just likes trying to belittle me in front of everyone. He hates me!" I exclaimed angry, swatting the small pale hand that had been groping at my cinnamon bun.

"Edwaarrrrd!!!" Nina wailed, pouting and using her giant baby blue eyes against me as they welled up with crocodile tears. "How could you do such a horrible thing?!"

"It's my cinnamon bun!" I argued, taking the thing out of its wrapper and splitting it in two. "Sides, you know you're bound to get a piece anyway!" Nina stopped crying immediately and beamed.

"Edo, my sweet, have I told you lately how much I love you?" She purred, demolishing her half of the sticky sweet in one fell swoop. Rose and Pan laughed behind their hands, and I fought to hold back a smile.

"Does just then count?"

"No."

"Then never." Nina gasped and began to proclaim loudly of her eternal love for me and how it must be spoken, which had all four of us in stitches by the end. Even if I never learnt anything here, I'd probably just come anyway to see my friends.

…yes, my three best friends are girls. It helped a lot when it came to proving I was gay, considering they were all very pretty and I'd never laid a finger on them, and also proved to be rather disconcerting for anyone who tried to start something within their earshot. Those three we like incredibly PMSy cats when it came to protecting their "one and only gay boyfriend".

To be honest I was lucky to have them. I was really fucked up when I first came to this school, but one by one these three took the time to worm their way into my heart, starting with Paninya and ending with Rose. They put a stop to any self mutilating habits I might've had, offered me their homes when I needed to get out of the empty place that was my own, even tried to (forcefully) reintroduce me to society, starting with taking me out and then introducing me to other people. Speaking of which...

"Where's Scar today; last I saw of you guys you were still attached at the lips." I raised a brow and smirked as Rose blushed.

"They were attached at a lot more than the lips if ya know what I mean." Pan implied dirtily, which earned her a whack on the head from both me and Rose (though I was laughing), and a blank look from Nina, who had yet to learn anything at all about the birds and the bees, due to her psychotic father's refusal to let her undertake in Sex Ed.

"For your information" Rose said haughtily, pouting at Paninya. "He's on a pilgrimage to Ishbal; to pay respects to his family, and the other people who died in the war."

"How come you didn't end up on that one?" Nina asked, popping candy into her mouth like there was no tomorrow. How did she stay so thin…? "I mean, it seems like the kind of thing your social worker would love you to do, seeing as it's all religious and stuff..."

"The pilgrimage is two months long." Rose answered mournfully "There's no way I would have been allowed to be off school for that long." Nina patted her sympathetically on the back whilst me and Pan whistled slowly.

"Wow, two months? How will you survive without him?" I asked, glancing at Pan.

"More importantly, how will she survive without the se-?"

"DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE!!!" Rose yelled, clapping a hand over our friends big mouth. Pan mmphed loudly and nodded submissively until it was taken away.

"Does this mean you can still have phone se-?"

"Whoever taught you that word should be castrated!" Nina and I laughed outright at the shocked looks on both of their faces.

**369369369 **

Dinner time was probably the time I hated most in my household. It was always worse than breakfast, because at breakfast Alphonse couldn't ask me about my day, or about my school work, or my friends. At breakfast he couldn't attempt (and fail miserably) to entertain me with random stories about his day that he tried to make funny, couldn't tell me his opinion on things he'd read in the news and most importantly, couldn't combine all these things together and try and replace our older brother.

Tonight was one of those "Envy nights", where he was sitting heavily upon both our minds (not that he wasn't always doing that to me anyway) and Alphonse had to try and impress me with how "easy" it was to be what he'd been, whilst I usually ended up throwing something breakable and dashing up to my bedroom, as Al tried to decide what was more important, going after me or cleaning up the mess I'd made, both natural instincts for him.

I hoped tonight was one of those "cleaning rules everything" nights. I still wasn't over this morning's incident, both with Al and the random green haired biker, and whilst I would never intentionally harm my brother no matter how mad he made me, to say I was a bipolar schizoid freak was putting it lightly. Words could hurt a lot more than actions sometimes.

At least, that's what I'd been told; I'd never had this proven to me before.

"So…how was your day?" Alphonse asked from the opposite side of the table, watching as I scrawled lazily in my diary. I was brooding, actually; I'd bought this diary due to a suggestion from Nina that maybe if I wrote everything that had happened down I would feel better about it, and I was following through by writing everything…. Unfortunately I was at the part that had drove me to become a depressive weirdo, and so brooding seemed appropriate.

"Okay. Nothing unusual happened." I shrugged, then smiled. "I got to pull a prank on this random bitch though."

_When mom died, we were shipped off to the godmother we never knew we had. Her name is Dante, and is the foulest bitch this earth has ever had the displeasure of carrying._

"Oh? Sounds like fun." Al smiled, eager to keep up the conversation now that he had one started. "How's Nina? And Pan? How'd her leg take to the operation?" Pan had been in a car accident months before, and both her knees had had to be reconstructed. They were fine now, if not a little stiff.

_She was rich, and had no brats of her own, luckily enough. She and Envy looked far more alike then mother and he ever had, and I believe that was where the dislike first started off. She took no great liking to me either, being Envy's shadow that he constantly shoved in the limelight with his compulsive protective tendencies, but fell in love with our eight year old brother Alphonse as if he was her own son. _

_He never particularly liked her, but the fact that he got everything he wanted was enough to keep him from complaining about the rough treatment Dante proceeded to use with Envy and me. Rough treatment didn't describe it; it was abuse at such a carnal level it could almost be described as torture._

"She's okay," I mumbled. "Still getting used to the newest one, but she's not using a crutch anymore. Nina's fine."

"That's good to hear. Did I tell you about what happened in art today at school? Me and Fletcher were sitting with these two girls and…"

_At first it was just barbed words, until she realized they didn't particularly affect either of us in the long run. We were more likely to believe what we, two brothers who had been together since my birth, thought of each other than what "some crazy old bat told herself as she played with toys at night". _

_So the next thing she tried was weaning. She separated me and Envy for two weeks, not a sight of each other or the sound of the others voice was to be found. She insisted that "it was unnatural for two young boys to be so attached", until both of us ended up in hospital for malnutrition and dehydration, due to refusing any nourishments that came towards us. So instead she tried for beatings…_

"…And so now both of them think Fletcher's a freak whilst I have these two incredibly cute girls hanging off my arms at all times." He wasn't finished ranting yet?

I blinked, my vision fuzzy from the moisture that had suddenly gathered in my eyes. Taking in a deep breathe, I looked down at my meal as a distraction. It was perfect, as always. Al had spent months learning techniques in the kitchen with a special chef hired just for him. Envy had just laughed and called him a submissive little turd before preceding to ignore him until the lessons were called off.

_These affected me far more than they could ever affect Envy. He was used to taking a few bruises from mother, and had learnt to deal with such actions coming from someone he loved. From a person he hated it meant nothing. But to me, it was pain. _

_Every night that I received a bruise or welts or a cut lip, I would cling to Envy as he rubbed my back and try not to bawl my eyes out at what was being done to me. I didn't get what I had done wrong. Why was I being punished? Envy made it better, but for him, I made it worse. He grew more volatile towards both Dante and Alphonse, striking the woman down one evening when she dared to kick me to the ground._

"Brother…you listening?"

"Hmm?" My head snapped up, and I felt my face flush guiltily at the look on Al's face.

"I asked you a question brother." He said quietly, and I swallowed before smiling nervously and tilting my head slightly to the side, shoving some potato into my mouth. "…Brother, why don't you listen to me? Why are you still condemning me for something that happened five years ago?"

My eyes widened, I felt myself go blank, and I looked down at what I'd been writing with a morbid sense of fascination. Why couldn't I forgive Alphonse...?

_That was when Dante decided that Envy was too risky to have around. With his violent nature, she would never be able to continue beating us down, and it was better to have one to beat than none. _

_And so she hatched up a plan and began to extensively lavish Alphonse with everything, completely rejecting me and Envy by telling us we weren't worth the effort she could easily put into Alphonse with much more delight. And of course, being ignored, being told he was underneath his youngest brother when it came to someone's attention… pissed him off to no end. _

_He began beating on Alphonse like he'd never done before, treating him just as badly, if not worse, than Dante had been treating us. He stole his food. He shredded his homework. He took every single chance he could to hurt Alphonse physically and mentally, which was exactly what Dante wanted._

"Edward, look at me. See me! I'm not Envy, or mom; I'm not trying to be! I just want you to be happy with me brother, stop hanging onto the past! You wear Envy's old clothes and changed your lifestyle so that you can completely focus on your thoughts of him all the time, but you're forgetting that you're Edward and that you have another brother whose still here and wants you be here as well-"

"Alphonse." I stated quietly, shutting him off in the middle of his rant. I was staring down at the pages of my diary, but I couldn't see it. My eyes were too blurred. I could hear the dripping on the paper though. I was crying. I wasn't mad…but I was crying. Upset, more so than he knew.

"Al…."

_Alphonse was eleven, and he knew he shouldn't have to take this kind of abuse from his thirteen year old brother. But he bore with it, breaking down very few times, but finally stating something that created all the difference._

"Alphonse, for what you did… be it accidental, or not…"

_"I wish Envy didn't exist anymore."_

"For what you did to our brother!"

_And so he didn't._

My voice cracked into a sob, and I kicked the chair out from underneath me as I stood, fists clenched. "I will NEVER forgive you!!!!"

_In the space of five minutes, Envy was taken away. And that was the last I ever saw of him_.

The dining room was silent, other than for my shuddering breath as pain and tears wracked my body. Unable to stand there any longer, I walked out of the room.

_...I never did get to hear him laugh again._

**369369369**

…I've just realized I have a fetish for making Envy ignore/hurt Alphonse in whatever way possible. I am so going to hell.

Shit, this chapter has me panicking. Did I do okay?! Is the new journal thingi good?! Is making Nina a teen pushing it?! Does everyone think Alphonse doesn't deserve how he's been treated?!

…I think how Al's being treated is unfair, especially with the way Envy treated him. But I can also understand Edward's side of the story, because he had the role model, constant companion, his best friend and his brother taken away…I mean, how would you feel.

Dante's a bitch. She gets no love X3

Review review review review! I love those long ones that make me want to write!!!

**PPS: Just so you know my need for a beta has gone up ten-fold. I not only need them to check the actual story, but put it up of as my computer MUST DIE AND I HATE IT!!!!**

**Basically I can't attach files to anything. Hotmail, all of em...it no workie. I can copy and paste, which is what I did for this chapter...but then I had to spend half an hour spacing everything out again and adding the italics and the bold and shit because has decided it doesn't like copy and paste very much. So ya, BETA!!! YOU ARE TEH NEEDED!!! THANKU!!!**


	3. Oh cherry blossoms!

**...Just an update to let everyone know I will be updating as soon as possible. After a week break of not looking at my account or emails...I forgot both the passwords. I still can't get into my hotmail account, so any wonderful death threats my loving beta might've sent (I'm so so so sorry, you're awesome and I feel so guilty for leaving you hanging; I'll PM you with my new email address as soon as possible, swear!) or anyone else for that matter, have not been recieved.**

**In any case, I swear to God there will be a new chapter up within seven days, as well as a possible new story...I don't know whether I should hold that until I finish this one though.**

**Again, my apologies for my stupidity!! I will update ASAP!!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Many thanks to my Beta, whom I love to death. I couldn't wait for you (way too impatient) but when you're finished I'll put the edited chapter up. I hope you like this chapter anyway.**

I made an error in the last chapter with ages. Alphonse is three years younger than Envy, and Edward two. It's not a very noticeable mistake, and could easily be overlooked by just saying Alphonse's birthday was before Envy's, but meh.

So it's been…ages. I'd say sorry, but I wouldn't mean it. You had to wait while I had to deal with life… it's the way shit happens, I guess.

But now I am back, and I hope all my loving reviewers have not left me in their awesome dust. ((totally not sucking up)) I only have one question to answer, but hey, it be a good one.

**Clawdia**

**One question: Are you going to do anything with Tucker? (Such as, having him abuse/murder Nina?) **I love it when my readers actually have a premonition. Something will definitely be done with Tucker, but as to what, and when, you'll have to wait and see. Also, thank you for the beta offering; if I have any trouble or a chapter that's just too large to expect just one amazing beta to handle, I'll keep you in mind.

Hopefully this wasn't too long for everyone; in any case, I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

_She looks up to the mirror glass and sees, _

_a handsome horse and ride pass_

_She says;_

"_That man's gonna be my __**death **__cause he's all I ever wanted in my life…"_

_Shallot- Emilie Autumn_

**369369369**

_It was with a deceptive calm that I locked myself inside my room for the next seven days. I didn't eat. I barely slept. I just sat there on the bed which Envy used to sneak into every night, clutching a dragon plushy he'd once won for me at a fair in Resembool, and listened to Alphonse's worried yells as he, and sometimes Dante, pounded on the door._

_I don't kid myself that Dante actually cared; the last thing she needed was for me to go back into hospital for malnourishment, or die. No, the only thing that heinous bitch cared about was looking good to the rest of the world, and I was not included._

_The only reason I game out on the seventh day was for the use of a toilet. There was something nauseatingly ancient about using a bucket in the corner of my room, and once I'd gained enough sense, pain gradually sharpening enough for me to know that, yes, I could still feel, I didn't deem its usage very hygienic. 'Envy would want me to stay well, Envy would want me to stay well' was the continuous chant in my head as I hesitantly opened the door and crept down the dark hallway._

_I took the long way, trying to avoid Envy's room, and turned a two minute trip into five, just to make it to the bathroom. It was stupid, and I knew it, which is why after relieving myself I determinedly walked towards Envy's room, just to spite myself._

_The door was ajar, and I slowed as I came near it, not actually wanting to see inside it, just wanting to be capable of making a toilet trip faster, acknowledging it was there. A crashing sound inside the room made me freeze. There were more thuds, more bangs, and my breath caught. Was this all…just a bad dream? Was Envy actually home?_

_I gave myself more hope than I should have as I crept cautiously towards the door, and pushed it open. I was expecting to see Envy standing there, tearing about his room in annoyance because Dante had let Alphonse have yet another expensive game console, or completely ignored him at dinner._

_I wasn't expecting to see Dante and Al working diligently around the room, chucking everything and anything they could into a couple of large, black garbage bags._

"_..W-what are you doing?" I stammered, shocked, and Alphonse froze and looked guiltily up at me. Dante didn't even bother, but I could see the smirk on her face as she continued around the room._

"_Brother… I-"_

"_I wasn't talking to you." I snarled, and I stormed into the room and pushed Dante against the wall, gripping her saggy, wrinkly throat tightly with both hands. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"_

"_Me? Tidying wasted space," She said with venomous pleasure as I flinched away. "All these things… so useless. I want them in the dump as soon as I can manage it."_

"_NO!" Was the last coherent thought and word I said, and then I pummeled her. I beat at her with my fists, kicked with my legs, and even bit her at some point, just so she could feel some of the pain I was feeling, some of the pain Envy would have felt. I fought like a rabid dog, intent on protecting everything in this room, and eventually, the cowed old woman left, and I turned on Alphonse with unmatched fury in my eyes._

"_Get out." I whispered._

"_Brother-"_

"_GET OUT!" I screeched, and he dropped the bag he'd been holding and scurried out of the room._

_I searched the bags they'd been using with great care. Dante had stripped the walls and started on Envy's clothes, whilst Alphonse…_

_Alphonse had targeted anything he knew had something to do with me._

**369369369**

I woke up that morning with a black cloud above my head, which didn't dissipate as I heard Alphonse making his way down the stairs, humming in morbid happiness. I thought of school, and the cloud got thicker. I thought about breakfast, and that cloud grew thicker still.

I didn't want to deal with today; not with Alphonse, or my friends, or school. I had a fantastic school record, not having had a day off yet this year, and for the first time in a long while, I felt like breaking that cycle. I wouldn't deal with life if I didn't have to.

I chucked on some black jeans and a red and black striped sweater before taking a look in the mirror drilled onto the inside of my wardrobe. My eyes looked rather dead, with small dark circles below them, and my hair was tied in a wispy pony tale. Had I come to school like this, Pan would have told me this was hot. As it was, I found it bearable.

It was as unlike Envy as I could get.

I grabbed an empty backpack from inside the wardrobe and chucked a few essential items inside it, before turning towards the window. For the first couple of months we lived here, before I'd made friends with three incredibly protective mother hens, I'd used my second story window to get onto the adjacent drain pipe and safely climb down to the road, on my way to god knows what I could get my hands on at that hour. True, I hadn't used it in a while, but I was confident that my weight, and the drainpipes strength, had not changed much.

Less than a minute later, my feet were on the sidewalk and I was heading towards the subway, hell-bent on getting as far away as I was comfortable from this house. The small two bedroom building belonged to Dante, who had used it as a town house before throwing the keys at me one night and saying she was far too old to have two teenagers screaming about the place. It took three days to move all of Alphonse's stuff there, but I was unpacked and settled on the first night.

Still, because it had belonged to Dante, it shared the same colour scheme as her mansion-like abode did, so I had never truly loved it. The lack of old women and a bare room I'd refused to allow said women to use was a godsend, however.

I walked to the subway and got myself a return ticket to the shopping district. By train, it was only about twenty minutes, but the way there was a labyrinth of streets and bridges by any other transportation. The subway cut down a two hour walk to twenty minutes, and I was grateful for that.

I took my ipod out of my bag and listened to it for the duration of the trip, thinking about what I could do today. Had I thought about it earlier, I would have rung Pan and asked if she wanted to hang out, but school should've started ten minutes ago and skipping out at lunchtime would be rather pointless, given the train ride. Still, with a wallet full of cash, and a credit card paid off with Dante's money, there was more than enough I could do by myself.

The first thing was go to Starbucks.

It was fairly empty, since school had already started and so had the 9-5 jobs, so I got served as soon as I entered the building. Stealing one of the plush couches they had lining the walls, I sipped my iced chocolate and just enjoyed my time for thought.

Six years. Most people would think that was plenty of time to get over someone, to stop mourning their loss in your life and look to the future. I disagreed.

…Envy and I… had always been around each other. Even when I was in the cot, we slept in the same room. A soon as I was old enough to sleep in a bed, we'd slept, side by side. He was there for me twenty four seven. For a long time, we were home schooled together. Every spare moment I had that didn't involve studies revolved around Envy. When he'd grown bored of school, Envy used to disappear to town during the day, when I was learning, only to come back with as many tales and pieces of gossip to pass onto me as he could find. He brought me back items and toys that he could never have obtained off his weekly allowance. He'd laughed at my hotheadedness and taught me how to fight. There was no before Envy… only an after.

And there shouldn't have been. Maybe that's why I've never gotten over it. There should never have been an ending to me and Envy's friendship; it was forced upon us. At an age when neither of us could fight back. I still wonder now…if Envy's still at Dante's house. Maybe he was never taken away. Maybe… his rotten corpse is in the garden, under one of the hundreds of rose bushes, giving it nourishment. I would be far from surprised. It seemed right up Dante's alley.

I stood, no longer willing to finish my too sweet chocolate drink, and dumped it in the bin as I strode out the door. The sky was grey with clouds, but the temperature remained warm, and no rain seemed to be threatening. I walked meaninglessly down the street, before an idea came to mind.

Yesterday morning, Alphonse had been right. Envy's clothes were getting old. As much as I loved wearing them, some of the items were more than a little ancient, a bit frayed at the edges, and I had no intention of wearing any of them till they fell apart.

Instead, I figured, it was time to do a little shopping of my own, not only to get some new fetish wear, but a chest to keep them in, so Alphonse couldn't "accidentally" cut them up. It was the perfect idea, because not only would it mean Envy's old clothes wouldn't tear, Alphonse would realize he put the intention into my head and remain silent for the rest of the week, berating himself internally for allowing me to get such an idea.

It seemed perfect, and I turned on my heel to head towards one of the large shopping centers when I noticed a large group of men down the alleyway beside me. Normally, I would mind my own business and keep going, but something, or rather, someone, made me pause. Five of them, brutish looking men, probably a gang of self-righteous morons, were surrounding a slim…woman, man? Whose face I couldn't see, they were so far in the shadows. The figure was backed against the wall, and seemed to be conversing with the guy in red, probably the leader, more stupid and brutish than the rest. From the looks of it, whatever was being said by the two was far from friendly.

I hesitated, then cursed my concern for the woman as I turned back to the alley and walked towards the men, fishing around in my bag for the chain I'd stuffed in there and wrapping it round my wrist as I gained their attention by dropping my bag on the ground, barely five feet away from them.

"The fuck do you want?" Red t-shirt man asked, and one of the guys following him raised a metal pole menacingly. The woman, whose face I could see more clearly now, sent me a perplexed look before turning to face Red indifferently.

"I was just wondering if there was a problem here," I said with a polite smile. "Though, now that a weapon's been brought into it, I hope you don't mind if I just stick around, until you wander away from your little friend here."

All five of the men laughed, and I got another "what the fuck?" look from the cornered woman. I didn't blame her; people in Central weren't known for their valiant deeds. I just hope she wouldn't mind being helped out by someone a head and a half smaller than her…

"You're out of your fuckin' mind, kid!" Red guffawed, men chortling after him. "Why don't you just turn around and go find your mommy and daddy?"

I laughed along with them this time, stepping closer before whipping him round the side of the head with my chain.

"You made a funny." I said blandly as he dropped to ground, out for the count. The laughter died out as the other four realized I'd just downed their main man.

"You little shit!" The guy with the pole cried, before a loud "Gurk!" filled the air and he dropped to the ground from a kick to the back of the head. I grinned; glad the lady wasn't too useless, before turning to face the two lumbering towards me. The first went down with the chain wrapped round his ankles, and then his partner and I tackled each other to the floor, clouds of dust flying everywhere as we rolled along the alleyway.

With the adrenaline running through my veins, it felt like we were fighting for hours. Then he pinned me with a nasty sneer on his face, and I closed my eyes in preparation for the first hit when suddenly-

_Click. _"You get up and walk away now, or your blood makes pretty patterns on the walls." My eyes opened to find a switchblade at my attacker's throat, and I mentally kicked myself as my brain registered the voice.

A man. Stop calling him a lady, idiot.

"I'll go, I'll go!" The man said hysterically, hand leaving my shoulder and joining the other in being raised in a surrendering gesture. "I'll go, just don't kill me man!"

His body was roughly hefted off mine and thrown towards the street, throaty laughter filling the air. A hand grabbed my elbow and pulled me to my feet, and I watched, disorientated, as the man scrambled upwards and lurched out of the alleyway as quickly as possible.

And then I was slammed against a wall, and serious déjà vu overtook me as a hand pinned me there by my shoulder.

"Play good Samaritan a lot?" The man asked me, eyes narrowed as he examined my face, the blood dripping from my busted lip, my soiled sweater. "Took less than what you gave out, but that's going to leave a nasty bruise." A gentle finger touched my lip, and I turned away, mildy creeped out.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to get going now." I said with as much authority as I could pinned against a wall by a guy with a switchblade. He laughed again, but his smile was nasty and the laughter too short for someone being friendly.

"You can go when I know why you helped me." The grip on my shoulder tightened, and I winced uncomfortably. "No ones that stupid that they're gonna take on five guys with a chain down a dark alley. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I thought you were a girl!" I snapped, then stiffened and mentally kicked myself for blurting that out. There was a short, tense silence, then more laughter, though this time, it was much less forced.

"You think I look like a girl, huh?" There was a teasing air to the guys voice now, and his gripped relaxed as I nodded reluctantly, confused by how much more comfortable I felt now, even though my mind and heart were going at a hundred miles an hour.

"I do." I answered, irritated when the guy just started laughing louder.

"And so you thought you'd save the poor damsel in distress from the big bad men, did you?" The irritation was quickly replaced by anger, and I slapped his hand away from me, stepping away from the wall.

"I'm sorry, okay?!" I snapped, bending down to grab my backpack and looking around for the guy with my chain wrapped around his legs. He wasn't there. Neither was the chain. Oh well. "If I'd known you were going to be such a prick about it, then I wouldn't have bothered to help you." I turned, intent on walking away, only to find my chain being hung right in front of my nose. I blinked, taking it out of the slim hand that had been holding it up. "Thanks..."

"Don't mention it," Came the easy reply. "You made my day a lot less difficult, downing that big guy. Nice chain work." I hoped the dimmed light of the alleyway hid my blush. Envy had taught me how to do that, clipping someone at the top of the head so they were down for the count. It pleased me more than I wanted to portray that I could still do it.

"Where are you heading, anyway?" He asked as we stepped out onto the street, the sunlight and noise seeming unreal after the incident in the alleyway.

"I was going to get some new clothes; my younger brother's got a pretty pathetic taste so I kinda need to." I stared at my feet, and then at his, noting his skinny leg jeans and black converse with approval.

"Good, cause I owe you a new shirt." The man said, and I looked up, ready to protest.

…But everything died on my lips as I stared up at the man, the teen, who had been missing from my life for far too long.

…Envy?

**369369369**

I'm stopping here merely for the fact that this leaves it at a good place to continue to the next chapter. The next chapter is finished and will be up in the next few days, it just depends on when I next get internet.

I'd really love to get some more reviews; to be entirely honest it was all your whining that finally got my ass into gear. That and my guilt for abusing my Beta. I'm sorry lovely, hopefully this chapter made up for it.


	5. Chapter 4

**I was a little insulted by some people's reviews. "You FINALLY updated; do it again bitch" is not what I write for. To all those who sent that type of message- thanks. If everyone reading this fic was as simple minded as you, I wouldn't publish it here. So thanks again, for your kindness and pure attention to the story in your reviews.**

"**I loved this chapter; please update" is not hard to write and not even slightly insulting. THINK before you write… if you're capable of it.**

Sigh… maybe I'm just a heinous bitch, but I think I lost my beta in the six months between posting chapter two and three. Luckily, I latched on to the nearest offer and ended up with the amazing Clawdia, who has my love. Thanks sweetie.

My laptop's been busted for quite a while, so this is actually up as soon as I could manage. I should've double posted, but I like my reviews too much to waste a perfectly awesome chapter. You all love me anyway, right?

…Right?

This chapter… was really fun. Like, sick twisted "omfg I'm gonna kill someone" fun. I'm mildly grateful Edward's just an anime character; if my plot was real he'd kill me.

I didn't have any questions on last chapter before I started writing this, so I'll leave space for questions in the next chapter. Enjoy.

_And what's the worst you take,_

_From every heart you break?_

_And like a blade you'll stain,_

_Well I've been holding on tonight._

_Helena- My Chemical Romance_

**369369369**

_When mom was still alive, Alphonse was friends with a little girl called Winry._

_She was loud, and annoying. I thought her name was stupid, and whenever she and Envy were in the same room together they'd fight like cats, so I tried to avoid her as much as possible. But when I turned ten, suddenly she seemed to be around a lot more._

_I went out of my way to be as rude and crass as I could to her, finding excuses to go home without her and even ditching her by climbing out of the toilet window a couple of times, but she never seemed to get the message. Sometimes she snapped, and ran off crying, only to be back within the hour with a weird look on her face._

_Envy… didn't take it well. He didn't give two shits about Alphonse for a while; in fact, he was almost pleasant to him, some days. He used to make up the most absurd reasons to start a fight with her (I can't even begin to try and count how many times it was about her name) and let me go off and play with Al, just so I wouldn't be around 'that stupid whore'._

_One day, she dragged me off after I'd finished school, before Envy got home. I remember grudgingly playing with her, smarting from a lecture mom had given us last night about being polite. I put up with being dragged through the fields until sunset when I very happily told her I had to go. Instead of yelling, or crying, like I'd expected her to, she just smiled shyly and rocked back and forth on her heels, seemingly hesitant to tell me something._

"_I had a lot of fun today, Edward." She said sweetly, and I would've rolled my eyes if she hadn't started leaning alarmingly close to me. She puckered up her lips and scrunched up her eyes, and then Envy was there, standing in front of me._

"_Edo has to go home now." He said, almost… polite in his absolute fury. "I don't expect he'll be seeing you again any time soon. Or ever." Winry glared at him, opening her mouth to yell, but he was already dragging me away._

_We actually went straight home, which scared me, since usually he'd side track at least once on the way back. Envy didn't talk to me once through dinner, or before bed, and after mom tucked us in and shut the door, I cried silently in the dark._

_Five minutes later, Envy was kneeling hesitantly at my side._

"…_Edo?"_

"_Yes?" I sniffled, and he sighed before invisible fingers began stroking my wet cheeks._

"_I'm sorry; don't cry, okay?"_

"_Did I do something wrong?" I choked out, and my tears came out faster. There was a guilty silence, and Envy stopped brushing the tears away._

"_I just… wanted to be your first kiss." Lips met mine for the first time, and lingered above them for a few seconds, not unwanted, but not expected either. I didn't kiss back, confused more than anything about what was going on, and quickly Envy pulled away and crawled into bed with me, distracting me with the day's talk he'd been waiting to share._

_My first kiss wasn't mentioned again._

**369369369**

He'd grown up.

The childish calm he'd once portrayed was entirely gone, replaced by a hyper violent teen with his face and intellect, but a deeper voice and nastier attitude. As we walked through the shopping centre he kept a hand on my arm, dodging people for the most part, but knocking others off balance gleefully when their arms were too full to keep their balance, or not spill hot coffee down their fronts. He chatted with me amicably about how he'd just come back to the city for the first time since he'd moved away five years ago, and I nodded to all this, as if I didn't really know the story behind why he left, all those years ago.

He kept his word and bought me a new top, nodding in approval at a black shirt with a red skull on the front and long white sleeves, then proceeded to follow me around the stores for the next three hours, pointing out what looked great on me and what was shit, forcing me to buy a few dark green tops, and helping me to get the best lock money could buy.

…But he didn't know me.

When we come out of the alley and I'd stared at him in shock, he'd just stared back calmly for five minutes before introducing himself and asking for my name. His eyes had shown no recognition; there was no joke in his tone. He really didn't know me. Of course, I'd straight away answered "Edward Elric, bastard. Glad to see you missed me too." Of course I did.

"…Pride."

Maybe not so much.

But that wasn't really the point. So far he'd been with me for five hours, and as I stared, depressed, at the cars passing by, he chattered randomly about how the city hadn't changed and the people were as rude as ever, pausing to let me nod that I was listening every couple of minutes before continuing to prattle on. He'd taken the train back with me to my suburb, claiming to have nothing better to do, and as we got closer and closer to home, I grew increasingly panicked.

What if, after saying goodbye at the door, he turned around and never came back again? So loud were my thoughts that, a block away from Dante's loaned townhouse, I stopped walking and grabbed Envy's arm.

"Prido..?" He asked questioningly, taking in my flustered state with a raised brow.

"Um, d-do you," I started, stuttering for the first time since I was eight. "do you wanna go get some coffee?" I fought down a blush and the urge to bite my lip in embarrassment as he looked at me like I'd just grown two heads. There was an awkward silence, then he smiled, and shook his head.

"I wouldn't mind that at all. Where's the closest Starbucks?"

Minutes later, we sat in awkward silence once again. My iced white chocolate mocha sat untouched in front of me, whereas Envy had already gone through two vanilla frappe's and had already ordered a third. He absentmindedly tapped a spoon on the table, and I stared determinedly out the window, refusing to stare. When the tapping stopped, I assumed he was just going to go get his drink, but when I didn't hear him move, I glanced over to find him inches away from my face.

"You're an odd piece of work, you know that?" He asked, continuing without letting me answer. "Are you always this quiet, or have you turned mute in the last five minutes?" I sipped at my drink nervously, and tried to think of how to answer.

"…I guess I'm just a quiet kind of person." I shrugged.

"But you weren't always that way." Envy stated, draping an arm over the booth seat and leaning back, staring at me. I gulped nervously, trying not to choke on my drink.

"What makes you say that?" I asked calmly, mentally congratulating myself for not letting my voice crack.

"You just don't look like a calm person," He said matter of factly, grinning. "I guess that's why I'm feeling so restless; I'm waiting to see you put some emotion into something" I laughed at that, wishing I had the guts to tell him the irony behind that sentence.

"I suppose I am a bit passionate, once I get to know someone." I smiled and Envy's smile grew wider, more genuine.

"See, that's better. I knew there was a human in there somewhere."

"So sorry my Lord, for letting you down." I replied dryly, taking a sip out of my cup. I felt a lot more relaxed, now that he wasn't poking at my personality. It felt like the past five years hadn't happened at all, sitting there with Envy across from me, chatting about whatever came to our heads. Time flew by, and the staff surprised me when they came over to kick us out.

"What time is it?" I asked, as we stepped out into the cool night. Shivering slightly, I hefted my bag over my shoulders and smiled as Envy flung a friendly arm around my neck.

"Why, its eleven, oh princess dear." He said flashing his digital timer my way. "Such a time to have lords take their highnesses to their beds." I snorted.

"You're no Lord, my Lord." He laughed, and I relished it

"Maybe not…mayhap I be a dragon." He winked lecherously, setting me into a fit of giggles. We made our way down the street in high humor, basking in the glow of a coffee high and good company, and one-sidedly, a feeling of completion. The hysteria died down as we reached Dante's townhouse, but the warmth remained, and I looked up at him with a fond smile.

"This is my place…" I paused, mockingly considering. "I'd invite you in, but I don't know if dragons can put up with hysterical little brothers."

"Oh har har," He replied, swatting me round the head. "Though you're right, I'm not really fond of little brothers; I'd probably eat him and then carry you to your room and make you my princess-slave."

"I'd make a horrible slave; I can't cook." I laughed, and a hand grasped my chin. Violet eyes twinkled into my own, and Envy leaned in until he was inches away.

"That wasn't the kind of slave I had in mind." He stepped away, snickering, as my mouth opened in shock. "You're going to swallow a bug." He commented lazily, and my mouth snapped shut. Envy stretched and turned to walk down the street, lifting his hand to wave, and I saw the moment I'd feared coming true.

"Wait!" He turned questioningly, and I didn't even bother to try and hide how vulnerable I felt right now. "Am I going to see you again?" Another smile, and then he was standing in front of me, fiddling with a clasp around his neck.

"Here," He said, dropping a necklace in my hand. "It's my favorite; don't lose it. I'll take it back when I get you something permanent." Unthinkingly, I opened my mouth, only to have him cover it with his own. It was soft, short, and sweet, but this time, I knew what was happening. And I didn't hesitate to respond.

"I'll see you soon." He murmured, flicking a stray piece of hair off my cheek. I nodded and he turned, waving as he walked down the street, and out of sight.

I must've stood there for at least ten minutes before the giddy feeling faded, and the influx of confusion began.

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**Merry Giftmas; may the spirit of commercialism be with you all.**

**And review.**


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